This is the End (the Doors)

This is my final blog. I'm done. I quit. I give up. I'm outta here! I won't be checking my messages on here and I won't be coming back on here. There's nothing good to say any more so I'm not going to say anything at all.
Fare thee well!

Don't Think Twice, it's Alright (by Bob Dylan)

Closure is a beautiful and painful thing. When people talk about experiencing a crossroads in life, I always picture a simple 4-way stop on a dirt road in the middle of a big, open prairie with a few random trees dispersed throughout. Unfortunately, life isn't always that clean and easy. Sometimes life's crossroads consist of a 20-way intersection mostly involving tons of high-speed traffic whizzing through! I recently got clobbered by a massive semi going well over the speed limit while attempting to maneuver the current crossroads I'm facing. I guess we'll just have to wait and see if this semi ever slows down and stops dragging me and if I'll be able to pick myself back up and make it through the intersection.

Broken (by Jack Johnson)

Well, it's been over a month since my last posting - and it'll probably be a while before my next. I'm sorry. Between work, school, relationships, and the whole shebang, life just feels a bit overwhelming and I'm still trying to figure out how I'm supposed to deal with it all. This blog is pretty far down on my list of priorities right now, so it's going to have to suffer the consequences of my current situation. That doesn't mean I'm abandoning it altogether - I'll still try to write in it once a week or so - but at the same time I wouldn't be surprised if a month or two goes by without anything from me. So, I just wanted to give that heads-up.

PEACE!

Not Saying Goodbye (by Edie Brickell)

My last two or three blogs have been short, heavy, and ambiguous. For that I am sorry. I've been suffering great heartache at the loss of an extremely special and loving relationship. It's bizarre how God grants us such wonderful gifts and then, in certain situations, takes them back from us. I'm struggling to understand all that is going on and how I'm supposed to process, manage, learn, and grow from all of this. I trust that God is strengthening my relationship with him through my weakness and sorrow. I can see that he is calling me to love him first and with all of my heart. For my entire life I have been learning to give all of who I am to God, save for one part - my relationships; he's finally calling me out and asking for this final piece of who I am. You'd think this would be a wonderful feeling - a feeling of release and peace that God is finally getting everything he deserves from me. If only it were that easy. If only the process was that beautiful. Like cleaning out a closet, sometimes you have to create an absolute disaster before you're able to start cleaning. I've been going through that disaster, and I will continue to sift through the wreckage for quite some time as I attempt to clean out my heart and my life, getting things in order to fully and completely hand it over to God. But I'm trying. The toughest lesson to learn seems to be how to truly give someone up to God without letting them out of your life. One thing's for sure - I'm not saying goodbye!

Tailspin (by The Jayhawks)

It's a lot easier to express myself during the down phases of my life when I live 10,000 miles away from everyone who reads this. I'm trying to figure out if life feels like it's going into a tailspin (a feeling I've experienced more than a handful of times in my life) or if it's simply run full-force into a thick, brick wall - but either way, things are less than ideal right now. The thing that sucks the most is that I'm not sure how to deal with it all, I'm very much not in a place where I want to talk about it, and I certainly don't want to pretend everything is hunky-dory. That makes it very difficult to write a blog. So, for now, please bare with me while I potentially go from week to week with little or nothing to say. I'll do my best to keep you posted and we'll see what turns up on here.

Tangled Up In Blue (by Bob Dylan)

Forgive me for not updating this in a couple of weeks. Things have been crazy at work, I just got sick, and frankly there's just too much going on inside my head and heart to write any of it down - at least in a public venue. So, for now, have a little patience with me please.

Judgement Day (by Jackie Greene)

Raise your hand if you hate terrorism. Raise your hand if you hate the death and destruction from planes crashing into buildings, car bombs, and suicide bombers. Raise your hand if you hate terrorists. Raise your hand if you hate Muslims. Raise your hand if you love Jesus. Keep in mind, you can't justifiably raise your hand for all of these - you have to choose.

I've been getting so many emails lately with pictures and stories and videos of these radical Muslims who have cried out for the blood of our leaders, our soldiers, and even us. Included in these emails are blatant expressions of hatred toward all Muslims - and most, if not all, of these emails have been sent to me by Christians. This absolutely breaks my heart! I understand that Jesus was asking something extremely difficult from us when he told us to love and pray for our enemies, but could we at least TRY to do what he commanded of us?!

Let me do another survey:
Raise your hand if you know of a Christian who has ever lied. Raise your hand if you know of a Christian who has ever committed adultery. Raise your hand if you know of a Christian who has ever passed judgement upon someone else. Raise your hand if you know of a Christian who has ever hated anyone. Unless you're lying to yourself (in which case, if you're a follower of Christ, you'd fall in the first category), you should have raised your hand for each and every one of these. In fact, if we go back into history we can even raise our hands at knowing Christians who have mercilessly slaughtered people (namely Muslims - how ironic!) in the name of Christ during the Crusades (and even more recently than that). So does that mean that Muslims and everyone else should disrespect the Bible? Does that mean that Christianity is a violent and hateful religion? Does that meant that Jesus preached messages of murder and war? NO! It means that people are dumb and do stupid things even when they're taught to love and respect others.

I'm ranting, that's obvious - sorry. It's just that it breaks my heart to no end when I hear people who supposedly are followers of Jesus Christ who jump onto the hilltops to tell the world how much they hate Muslims, terrorists, homosexuals, global warming advocates, Democrats, Communists, or anyone else for that matter. My challenge to all you "Christians" out there is to pick up your Bible every once in a while and try actually reading and living it!

Matthew 5:43-48
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the terrorists/Muslims/homosexuals/global warming advocates/Democrats/Communists/etc* do the same? . . . Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect."

*words in italics changed for cultural relevance

We All Move On (by The Samples)

In response to the disaster of the 35W bridge collapse on August 1, 2007, two major politicians, one a Republican and the other a Democrat, are both recorded to have said, "This is America - this type of thing shouldn't happen here." How dare they say something so asinine! Who are we to expect that nothing bad should ever happen to us?! Why are places like Indonesia more deserving of all their disasters than America? There is something every American - especially our politicians - need to wake up to: Regardless of what state, country, or hemisphere we live in, we are all residents of a fallen, sinful world! Pain and suffering, tragedies and disasters, darkness and evil are all a package deal where we live - get used to it! And for those who like to take situations like this and use it as ammunition against God, you need to wake up, open your eyes, and shake off your pessimistic attitude! If you want to know where God is in the midst of all this, watch the news and talk to your neighbor, co-worker, family, and friends who crossed that bridge at 6pm every day and are still here to ask "why am I still alive?"

The sad fact of all of this is that we must move on. We must learn from what has happened. Maybe the lesson we need to learn is how to prevent disasters like this. Perhaps the lesson is that we need to treat each day as a blessing and a gift from God because we're not promised tomorrow. Or maybe the lesson is that there may not be time to wait in realizing who Jesus is and how crucial it is to allow him into your life and live for him. I don't know what lesson you're supposed to learn from this, but I do know that if we don't learn, grow, and move forward the deaths and uprooted lives from the collapse of the 35W bridge will be a pointless waste. Honor and respect the lives that were lost and the workers who are exhausting themselves and risking their own lives by making right in your own life what has gotten out of alignment - you may not have tomorrow.

*In loving memory of the lives lost on August 1, 2007 in the Mississippi River

The News (by Jack Johnson)

I've had many people asking me about my most recent trip to the far side of the world along with my team. I've been able to share a little bit through here as well as a little bit face-to-face with a few people. As much as I'd love to sit down one-on-one with every person I know and get into great detail about my experiences (and I'll do my best to actually do that with those who would genuinely be interested), it's just not always that feasible of an option.

This is why I'm inviting you to come to Wooddale Church this Sunday, July 29 at 1:30pm for a full-team report-back from our trip. There will be a whole lot more than just our report-back going on throughout the day, some of which will involve our team and a lot of which will involve other teams and individuals who will be sharing about what God is doing throughout the world right now.

It promises to be an awesome day - especially at the evening service, The Gathering, at 7pm. There will be good food, fun videos, amazing stories, and tons of cool cross-cultural artifacts on display. I hope everyone in town will make a point to put this on your calendar and come to hear about the opportunities God has blessed us with and share in our experiences together.

If you have any questions or anything, send me an email - JeffreyGrounds@gmail.com - and I'll happily fill you in on any additional details you may need.

Good Guys Win (by Jimmy Buffett)

I've been back a week as of today (Monday, July 23). I have to admit, it's weird to make such a fuss about having been gone for only two weeks. However, God has certainly done a whole lot more with a whole lot less time! It was an interesting dichotomy between how wonderful it was to be back to some of the places I love with some of the people I had grown so close to while at the same time being a bit frustrated and disappointed at having such a short amount of time back. What's especially surprising to me is how the jet lag has been hitting me. I sleep fine but I keep hitting a wall every afternoon/evening. Hopefully I'll be all caught up soon.

Traveling with a team was filled with surprises for me. It's been so long since I've traveled with so many people. Isn't it strange how after so many years of traveling alone and desiring to have travel companions that I would have struggles with traveling with a team? I've gotten so accustomed to traveling alone that I had to relearn how to travel with others once again. As is true with so many things in life, it was filled with so many pros and cons.

On the one hand, I had to deal with being responsible for a group of people who, for the most part, were inexperienced in traveling and were unfamiliar with the far side of the world and all that's involved in getting around, communicating, and dealing with cultural differences. Add to that the fact that the dynamics of traveling with a group provides so many more opportunities for Satan to use his favorite weapon against me: discouragement.

On the other hand, traveling with this team allowed me to see God at work in some truly awesome ways! I was blessed to be able to watch most of my team members, a few in particular, grow in their faith and experience God like never before in their life. One team member has a distinct new level of maturity and confidence in who he is in Christ; another team member is struggling with how to manage her newly recognized spiritual gift of compassion - a real blessing in disguise; still another team member emerged as a clear and distinct prayer warrior, instilled with a bold confidence in who God is and just how powerful and loving He is! And this is only a quarter of the team.

My trip was filled with blessings and discouragements and I can only hope and pray that I wasn't too much of a distraction for my team and the work God was doing in and through them. He is very clearly continuing to work in their lives now that we're back in MN - for some team members this is more of a struggle than would be expected. Please continue to pray for this team and all the goings on in their hearts, minds, souls, and lives. And, of course, continue to pray for the people who's lives we encountered while on the far side of the world. God is doing a mighty work in a global way!

What a Long, Strange Trip it's Been (lyrics by Jim Morrison)

We have all made it safely to the point of beginning our journey back to MN from the far side of the world. Yesterday was a good day of fun, rest, and relaxation - for me it was a good time of revisiting old hangout places that have been much missed. Unfortunately, there is no time to get into any detail about the ways in which God has worked so immensely in each of our lives over the past 16 days. Each individual has their own story to tell and their own ways of expressing their experiences - frankly, it's not my place to rob them of that opportunity to share those things with you. What I can tell you is that there have been revelations, struggles, tears of joy, tears of heartache, old friendships revisited and new friendships formed; most of all, God has been realized by many and shared with even more. Keep us in your prayers as we begin our long journey back from the far side of the world. There will be stories to tell, pictures to share, and transformed hearts to witness upon our return. Thank you for all you have done in contributing to what God has been at work doing in and through each of us. We look forward to sharing these things with you one-on-one as well as at our report-back at Wooddale on July 29.

At the End of the Day (by The Samples)

We're there! Well, pretty much. We've made it to the far side of the world (and if you don't mind my saying so, it's good to be back!) and are about to take a five-hour nap before hopping on the train to the ferry terminal and over to our final destination. Our first flight was long, but manageable. There were a couple of near-bouts with air-sickness, but we've all made it safe and sound and everyone is feeling healthy and glad to be here. It is yet to determine if we have a good night's sleep ahead of us, but we have a nice, quite area that is pretty much all to ourselves where we're able to spread out our sleeping pads and leave the cramped-up fetal-position style of sleeping on the plane behind us.

We've had no glitches so far and from here on out is the easy and familiar part for me. Frankly, I'm excited to be "home" again (which is exactly what it feels like)! In the morning we'll get up early, gather our belongings, and leave the comfort of air conditioning behind us for the hot and humid equatorial weather. Needless to say, it'll take a little getting used to, but I think the team is ready for it. They're gonna LOVE Base Camp =)

This will likely be the last blog posting for two weeks. We will be internet free once we step onto the ferry in the morning. Remember the travel policy in force here: No news is good news. In the case of any emergency we will be able to get word out to those necessary in a very short period of time - but I truly don't see that being a concern.

Please remember us in your prayers. This has been a good, yet uneventful trip thus far and we're anticipating a lot more of the good and a whole lot of "eventful" in the two weeks to come. We're excited, so I hope you're excited for us too. We are in good hands here - the best hands - God's hands! Find the same peace in that as we do.

I'm So Gone (by Jackie Greene)

"All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go." Oh how I wish that were true! Packing for a two-and-a-half week long trip to a third-world country on the equator is a very easy thing to do: a couple of pants, a couple shorts, some underwear, a few shirts, sunblock, sunglasses, and some flip-flops; I mean come on, it doesn't get much easier than that?! Things start to get complicated when you're packing a bag full of camera equipment, supplies for the workers on the field, and various other supplies that are necessities for various external purposes. On top of all that, you've gotta love the last-minute tying of up loose ends at work, poorly scheduled pre-trip photography meetings and shoots, and preparing to return to a girlfriend I haven't seen in over two weeks and will be away from for an additional two-and-a-half weeks now. Ah, the stresses of life and travel - I thrive on it (at least the latter of the two)!

I can't speak for the rest of the team, however. One of the problems with traveling often is that it becomes easier and easier to put off the important things until the last minute. When you're going to a new place and you're not used to traveling it's so much easier to dwell on the details and plan and prepare so much further in advance. I like to think that the rest of the team has been packed and ready to go for days, maybe even weeks already! All I know is that I'm getting up at about 5:00am tomorrow (assuming I go to sleep at all) and meeting the crew at the airport at 6:30am and by that time anything we've forgotten or over-packed will be too late.

The flight to Chicago is the one I'm really not looking forward to; it's just too short! It's too long to enjoy and too short to sleep (although God knows I'll try). For the longest time I was under the impression that we were flying non-stop to Singapore from Chicago - that would've been a 22-hour flight! Sadly, I've come to discover we actually stop in Hong Kong on the way. The good news is that I've never been to Hong Kong, so you can bet I'll be heading through customs in the three hour period between flights =) Although our beloved 22-hour flight is being chopped up by a stop in Hong Kong, I still look forward to the potential amount of sleep I'll be getting on the roughly 16-hour long flight. I hope the others can sleep on planes as well as I can =)

Remember, those long stretches of time when there is nothing but silence coming from this blog page it is simply because we are having too good of a time to take a break and write anything. I don't anticipate writing again before we get into Singapore. After that, it'll likely be sometime in the middle of July when we are beginning our trek back from our ethno-tours that I'll be revisiting the information super-highway and making a pit-stop on this blog site. Keep your eyes open and check back soon.

Traveling Light (by Widespread Panic)

What a crazy several weeks. I'm knee-deep in what is likely to be the busiest, craziest, loneliest, funnest three weeks of 2007. I'm back in MN for three days right now between trips. I just got back from a rather a-typical vacation week for me - in Delaware. Granted DE is hardly the adventure capitol of the US, let alone the world, I got to experience first-hand how true it is that our company is what makes the difference. For five full days I got to hang out with my old climbing buddies from out in CO. We hit the climbing gym, did a ton of jet-skiing, a little water-skiing, watched some movies, took it easy, and we definitely ate, drank, and had a marry ol' time as my buddy, Fu, got hitched. Time with these guys is always a good time!

Now I'm back, recovering from being gone a week and preparing to be gone for two and a half more. I think I'm beginning to feel the burden of responsibility. It's about as much fun as I had anticipated. Needless to say, I'm ready to go back home to the far side of the world. Although, I have to admit that traveling is so much easier when I do it alone. I'm not used to explaining to others the details of how to pack, dress, travel, communicate, eat, and generally live in another culture - I typically just kinda do it. But it's good. I have a great team and everyone brings something precious to the table. Tonight (Wednesday) is our prayer send-off and I'm excited to have this time with everyone together with the focus of committing ourselves, our team, and our ministry up to the Lord.

So, there's a lot to do now. I need to pack, finish up several key communication projects here at work, organize photos I took from Fu's wedding, smooth over some photography scheduling upon my return, and make sure everything is in order with my team. I've never been so excited about a 22-hour flight - I'm gonna do some serious sleeping!

Great is Your Faithfulness (by The Newsboys)

For those who don't already know, June 30 I will be leaving the states again; this time for a significantly shorter amount of time (17 days) and with a lot more people - 13 of us, to be exact. This team that I'm taking back home to Indo with me include my co-leader, Julie, and a team of 11 others: Phyliss, Becky, Amanda, Erica, Kristen, Tonya, Emilee, Ed, Al, Adam, and Thad.

Our team has been through extensive training and I feel is very well prepared for this trip. All we have left to do is packing and some final logistical details of getting everyone to the airport and on the plane. We have had our final training meeting and our last official time together before meeting at the airport will be on Wednesday night, June 27 at Wooddale Church from 6:30-7:30pm for a prayer send-off (all are welcome to come).

Please keep posted to this blog for updates on our team as we travel. I have done a lot of traveling in my life and I have always functioned with the philosophy "no news is good news." This is important to keep in mind as most of our time away will be spent with no internet connection. I pretty much expect to update this when we land in Singapore on July 1st and again in Singapore on the 15th or so, the day before we fly back.

Remember us in your prayers. Pray for us individually and pray for us as a team. Here are some specific requests to remember to lift up to the Lord:
- Keep focused on God above all else
- The Holy Spirit is at work and we desire to follow where He is leading
- Travel safety
- Good health
- Team cohesiveness
- Patience with each other and with the new culture
- FUN!

The Christian (by Jimmy Buffett)

I think I've thought for too long that the job of Christians was to correct lost people like Muslims, Hindus, Buddhist, and agnostics. Perhaps my paradigm is shifting or perhaps it just a matter of clarity, but it's no wonder Christians are so looked down upon; with this mentality it seems equivalent to belittling others in telling them where they've failed and how wrong and bad they are. It seems to me that it is rather a matter of showing them something (or someONE, rather) they've never known. I heard an analogy today that seemed apt:

"A child walked up to his dad and told him there are men on Mars. The dad's reaction should be to throw his son down on the couch, whip out an astronomy book, and start shoving his face in the book, telling him how wrong he is, right? Hardly! The dad lovingly shows patience at the fact that his son simply doesn't know the truth yet. Maybe he'll come to understand later that day or maybe he'll come to understand in a few years - what's most important is that the son comes to realize for himself on his own terms what the truth is."

Another story I heard this week was of a woman who bought a new puppy and was told that in order for the puppy to live a long, healthy life she was to feed him a tablespoon of Castor Oil every day. So, every day she would chase the puppy down, hold him around the neck while forcing his mouth open, and would shove the Castor Oil down his throat. Every day the puppy would run and hide, kicking and yelping as the woman would regularly shove the Castor Oil down his throat - until one day when the woman found the puppy had knocked the bottle over, spilling it all over the kitchen floor, standing in the middle of it lapping it all up. The puppy didn't hate the Castor Oil; he hated the methodology of having been force fed it!

"Religion", as it were, is a barricade all-too-often. Nowhere in the New Testament does Jesus teach about a religion. There is no record of Jesus telling people to become a Christian. "Christianity" is of man - Jesus calls us to the Kingdom of God. It's not about doing the right things, it's not about following the rules, it's not about having a certain label or title - it's about knowing Jesus and loving him, plain and simple! Why is that so hard for us to understand and accept?

School's Out For the Summer (by Alice Cooper)

That's right, I'M DONE! And good riddance too! Unfortunately, school has left its residual affect on me - I'm sick. My head is all clogged up, my throat hurts, I'm starting to get sleep deprived and I just want to sleep - sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep! But, of course, I've booked myself too solid for that to be an option. I have date night tonight, a sunrise photo shoot in the morning, three photography meetings all day tomorrow, and another photo shoot that will either be tomorrow at sunset or Sunday at sunrise. At least my schedule is getting overloaded with something I actually enjoy doing. If I can just get myself healthy and possibly even in shape again, this could actually be a good summer!

Oh, and I'm heading out to Delaware in less than two weeks. It'll be SO great to reconnect with old friends and have some time to let loose and have some fun. I'm ready for it!

I Want to Break Free (by Queen)

I'm only one week away from being done with school, less than three weeks away from flying out east to visit my buddy Mikey to celebrate his wedding along with some other old Colorado friends, and four weeks away from heading back home to Indonesia for a little over two weeks. The week and a half between school and my next trip will be spent doing as many photo shoots as possible to help build and expand my portfolio and increase my networking. It looks like June is going to be a busy month - in a good way! Once school is done, I have about five weeks of bliss ahead of me! Sadly, my girl will be doing her own traveling for several weeks beginning June 13. That means that, as usual, I'll be experiencing my traveling and photography highs on my own. As much as I'd rather share the experiences and excitement, the Lord knows I'm in desperate need of a month of traveling like what's ahead of me. I'm almost there!!!

Nothing Lasts for Long (by The Samples)

I'm not cut out for school.

Spit On a Stranger (by Nickel Creek)

I think I've spent too much of my adult life trying to learn to be tolerant of the poor, of other religions and worldviews, of social outcasts, and of people who suffer from broken homes and relationships; there's a whole other grouping of people of whom I have completely overlooked and have recently discovered I have absolutely no patience, tolerance, or respect for: The rich, spoiled brats of this world!

I spent last week (May 13-19) helping my buddy Jason out with his ministry, Good Neighbors, Inc., in south-eastern Kentucky. This was my first chance to see his two-year-old business/ministry first-hand. On one side of the coin, Jason has grown in his faith and maturity by leaps and bounds since I first met him back in junior high. I've seen him make a lot of mistakes in his life and put himself before God and others for a long time. It's an awesome thing to see him so focused on others and care so little about "things" like he used to. However, the other side of the coin reveals that he still has a whole lot more growth and learning in his theology as well as how to run a ministry. There's great potential in him; my prayer is that he'll utilize and live up to it.

My week in Kentucky with Jason and Good Neighbors, Inc. was shared with a team of 24 students and faculty from Minnehaha Academy. I pretty much left junior highers in my past when I left my volunteer staff position in the Wooddale Junior High Ministry back in 2002. Needless to say, I didn't care too much for being a part of this group - my focus was on being there to help Jason in whatever ways he needed me, not to be a chaperon for the little kiddies.
I did a good job of avoiding the team the first half of the week. I was able to focus on Jason and the business and still allow some time to get my studying done. However, apparently 9th grade kids are drawn to people who try to avoid them. By the end of the week, I couldn't shake most of them. Admittedly, there were a couple of cool ones, but there was one in particular who wore me to the core! I don't think I will ever forget the name Christine Gremillion. I can honestly say I have never met a single person in my life who comes close to being as spoiled, selfish, obnoxious, whiney, and downright annoying as this girl. Her parents have done an absolutely horrible job of raising her. In a team of people doing various construction work - whole lot of manual labor - Christine clearly worked two or three times as hard as the hardest worker, only all her energy was spent complaining, threatening, and avoiding work. Frankly, I could go on and on and on about this girl, but in an effort to restrain myself I'll leave it at this.
My purpose for brining this up is that I have learned that I have an extreme shortness of tolerance and patience for people like this. I simply can't handle people who think that everyone and everything exists for their personal betterment. This is what drives me crazy about America and the state it's in and the direction it's heading. Where did all the discipline go? What happened to community and respect for one another? What happened to respect?! I know these things still exist, but there's no denying that these are dying characteristics of our country. Frankly, I weep for the future of our kids, our society, and our country.

Oh, and on a side note, my first draft of my first term paper in seminary (well, this time around at least) is due on Friday night. Why does school have to be so difficult and time-consuming?!?!

Thirsty in the Rain (by Keller Williams)

I have to admit, I'm a traveling snob. I'm heading to Kentucky on Sunday and I'm distracted from being excited about it by the fact that it's a week's vacation that will be spent inside the boarders of the United States. Needless to say, I'm getting the itch to see and experience new countries, new continents, and new adventures. However, I don't doubt that this week in KY will be a good one. I'll just have to suck it up and be patient until I can head back to my old home on the far side of the world once again this July.

A couple of years ago, one of my best friends started a ministry to the Appalachian people in Kentucky. I've seen him a couple of times since he moved there and have heard a lot about this business, but this will be my first time interacting with it and seeing it for myself. A group of junior highers from Minnehaha are heading down there to do some service projects. We'll be building rooms on houses, fixing places up, and helping in other various ways to prevent people on the brink of welfare from falling into that abyss.

This should be a good week of getting out of MN, visiting an old friend, serving the Lord and His people, getting caught up (and hopefully ahead) on school work as my class is coming to a close in a few weeks, and hopefully even get a little sun! My three biggest concerns are (in no particular order) rest, finances, and studying. I need to stay on top of each of those.

Oh, and I'll be bringing my camera along too, so hopefully I'll capture some golden photos!!!

Nothing (by Edie Brickell)

Once upon a time I had more people reading this thing than I ever realized. When I returned from my travels last year I had people coming up to me that I had never met before, telling me how they've been reading my blog regularly. Now, I know of about two or three people. Sadly, I'm a person who needs feedback to make sure that anything I'm saying or doing matters or is even being received. Without it, I feel like I'm back at WBCS, the Bethel College radio station I used to work at, where there were literally no people listening and I knew that every word I spoke into the microphone and every song I played were for my ears only.

I don't say these things to whine and complain, but rather to make a point. I feel like I have nothing to say lately. I feel like my new-found consistency with writing in here every week is futile and pointless. If no one is reading this, and if I can't seem to find anything worth reading anyways, what's the point? I'm seriously considering putting this blog into hibernation and pulling it out exclusively for my travels, when people's interest in this website tends to peak.

If you have any thoughts one way or the other, I'd love to hear them. Otherwise, I'll take the silence to be an affirmation of my inclination.

Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On (By Jimmy Buffett)

Can evil and good coexist? Can one entity be made up of both good and evil at the same time? Some people say that evil is the absence of good. If you work off this definition, the two must be mutually exclusive and cannot occupy the same entity at the same time. Or could it be that something is good some of the time and evil other parts of the time, but never both at the same time. It's an important philosophical question to ask, especially in today's world where the conflict between good and evil seems more prevalent than ever (which, I'm sure, is something every generation has said).
In light of recent events (and, if I were to analyze my past, I'm sure it goes beyond only recent events), I have to argue that evil and good can in fact coexist within the same entity. I am, of course, talking about technology. It seems that life is made so much easier and more enjoyable with it and that it provides much good for our daily lives ... yet technology sucks!
Most people know that I hate cell phones, yet I can't hardly function without my iPod. Computers, particularly PCs, cause more daily frustration than probably any other man-made object, yet we use them on a virtually consistent basis ... I wouldn't be able to write this and send it out for the world to read if it wasn't for computers. Technology has freed us and shackled us in chains at the same time. But then, I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before.
My reasoning for writing this blog is due to a personal frustration that I guess I just needed to vent about. I've been exploring the world of photography over the past year and have put a lot of time, money, and energy into it. I've taken hundreds, if not thousands, of photos in the past several months to a year, and I've stored them all on my external hard drive since my piddly PC laptop can't seem to hold more than a few pictures. Well, I accidentally bumped my external hard drive the other day, sending it a whopping 2-3 feet to the plush, carpeted floor. The result: a decision ... 1) throw the hard drive away with all the photos on it, 2) spend around $100 to find out if any of the photos can be saved (and possibly find out that the answer will be "no", after which I'm simply out that $100), or spend between $1600-$2200 to get these photos back. Sadly, my budget is focusing more around the $16-$22 mark!
My level of frustration and disdain at this pathetic piece of technology that can hold more memory than my brain while not being able to withstand being knocked around a little is nearly to the point of being comfortably numb and apathetic ... but it's not quite there yet. I'm about ready to boycott all technology, move to Lancaster County, and become Amish! But, of course, we all know that's not going to happen ... there aren't big enough mountains in Lancaster County. So I guess that technology wins again!

So Hard to Find My Way (by Jackie Greene)

I have to admit, it's a lot harder to vent, open up, and expresses my stresses, confusions, and concerns on here when I have the potential of running into my readers on any given day. It's much "safer" when I'm 10,000 miles away from anyone and everyone.

Having said that, I'm feeling in over my head, to say the least. I'm not going to pretend that I have anything more going on in my life than anyone else, but I do know that I'm not doing a good job of keeping up and balancing everything. I am so scared that I'm going to do exactly what I did the last two times I attempted graduate school ... fail! And I'm feeling more and more like I'm on that track every day. It seems as though the things that keep balance in my psychological, physical, and social life (relationships, photography, running, climbing, SLEEPING) only get in the way and drag down my academic life. However, if I don't include those necessary aspects of life, I don't do well with school either because I feel so stressed and out of whack. It's a catch-22. I'll be amazed if I manage to get the mandatory B- or better in this class. If I don't, I'm officially free from school ... and from my job! If I do maintain the necessary minimum GPA, that just means that I have a potential additional 3-4 more years of suffering through this hell. AND THIS IS ONLY ONE CLASS!!!!

Life was so much easier when I was a Colorado snowboarding bum!

Reasons Why (by Nickel Creek)

Prioritizing life can be such a headache. You'd think that people's schedules would be filled with things they love and are good at doing. I mean, why would anyone fill their time with responsibilities they aren't passionate about?! Sadly, that doesn't seem to be the way life works. It's annoying!

My life currently consists primarily of work, school, relationships, and photography. Of course, other things creep in from time to time like sleeping, eating, transportation, shopping, car repairs, down-time, etc. Then there are the things I'd love to do but don't have the time or money to do ... things like traveling, painting, biking, road-trips, surfing, scuba diving, snowboarding, rock climbing, exercising, going out on the town, etc. How do you fit it all in? How do you sacrifice the things you love for the things you like ... or worse, for the things you need but don't necessarily even enjoy?!

One of my big dilemmas right now is actually a pretty nice dilemma to have ... it involves traveling. For the first time in my life I'm working at a job that's full-time with a salary and benefits and the whole shebang. As wonderful as that is, it also means limited vacation. I know, I know, welcome to the real world, right? Well, I have a week where I'm visiting one of my best friends for his wedding ... that's a given. I've been trying to decide what to do with my other week off. I was thinking of going back to Cuba or maybe up to Alaska to do some camping or something. As it turns out, one of my other best friends is in need of some help with his missions business and wants me to fly down to Kentucky to help him out for a week. So, I can either have a traveling adventure on my own or a working vacation with one of my best friends.

My dad has told me on several occasions that every decision you make involves a sacrifice. We sacrifice time to have money, or money to have time. We sacrifice going someplace on vacation to go to another place instead. We sacrifice having one relationship in order to have another. Life is full of decisions ... and the worst part is, there aren't always right/wrong decisions. Sometimes a decision is perfectly fine no matter which one you make ... we just need to decide what we're willing to sacrifice.

Good Friday

Last night, for the 28th time, I got to hear my dad preach the annual Maundy Thursday sermon ... my favorite service of the year. This remembrance of the last supper and the betrayal and trial of Jesus is the pinnacle sermon of the year. Nothing else in all of the Christian faith amounts to anything without this, the last supper and crucifixion of Christ. I love this sermon because it always brings me back to the cross. In my heart, I get to see and hear the beating, the flogging, the screams, the blood, the mocking, the spitting, the crying, the laughing, and the suffering of my savior ... and I'm reminded that he chose to endure all of that for ME (and for YOU).

There was a passage that was read during the sermon last night that I've heard many times in my life, but penetrated my heart like never before:

(NIV) Matthew 26:50, "Friend, do what you came for."

This year is the fourth year in a row that I have had the privilege of doing an Easter play. The first two years I played the role of Jesus, last year I was doubting Thomas, and this year I'm portraying Judas. For a while, I joked around a lot about having been "demoted" from Jesus down to Judas, but after last night's sermon I have a new perspective.

Growing up, I didn't have many friends. Throughout junior high and senior high I really only had one friend. I believe that God blessed me with Steve, my best friend of 19 years now, to show me the significance of the friendship Jesus offers. It is because of these two relationships in my life that I count friendship to be one of, if not THE, most valuable and precious things in this world.

When I heard the words, "Friend, do what you came for" last night, a new light was given on who Judas was and what he must have gone through. Judas never thought in his wildest imagination that there was any way Jesus would or could actually die. Judas loved Jesus and knew him to be the savior. His intentions weren't to send Jesus to his death, but rather to speed up the process of Jesus' reign and force him to stand up to those in opposition to him and bring down the tyrant rule of the Romans.

Jesus knew exactly what was going to happen. He knew the pain, suffering, and humiliation he was about to endure, and he knew Judas was going to start the chain of effects. After pleading with God to prevent that night from happening, after being so terrified that his body couldn't handle his fear and he began to sweat blood through his pours, after needing God the Father to send down angles to comfort and calm him down so he wouldn't die before facing the cross, he stood face to face with Judas and called him "Friend". Jesus had already forgiven Judas for his act of ultimate betrayal ... if only Judas had listened, realized, and accepted that forgiveness!

So today, on the greatest of all Fridays, there is one word that speaks to me and brings clarity to what this weekend and what the Christian faith is all about: FRIEND

Weight of the World (by The Samples)

The first week of online seminary has proven to be manageable yet stressful. For the most part, it seems as though there are enough small chunks each week that I ought to be able to stay ahead of the game and keep my head above water. However, I get the distinct feeling that it's a lot more complicated than I'm realizing and there are some significant factors that I'm missing. This uncertainty, mixed with the confusion of trying to understand the overall structure of doing a degree online, is causing a fair amount of stress. I understand that I'm less than a week into my current educational experience, but balancing work, school, photography, relationships, sleep, exercise, and social life is already proving to be a trick I don't think I'm as good as as I once was.

One of the things I've been intentional about is trying to find key people to help keep me in check and on task without "coming down on me" if I begin to slide. That's a difficult balancing act in and of itself. I hope I have the discipline to keep from falling into my typical procrastinating ways.

On a totally separate note, I have another headache that I'm going to try to turn into an opportunity for the readers of this blog (the few that remain). I'm trying to find a label to put on my photos and, ultimately, a website I'd like to design. "Jeff Anderson Photography" is just WAY too generic for my taste. Besides, there are more Jeff Anderson's out there than I care to admit. My main focus is travel photography, but I'm attempting to venture into portrait-style photography as well. I thought of using my middle name and came up with GroundsEffect Photography, but it's been pointed out to me that, especially if you don't know my middle name, it just looks like bad grammar. So this is where you all come in:

I'm going to attempt a competition here where I'm requesting submission of name ideas for me. You can give as many suggestions as you'd like. I'm looking for something that is unique, creative, applicable to my photography, and clearly "Jeff Anderson". Whomever comes up with a name that I decide to go with will be able to choose one of my photos and I'll print and frame it for you. You can choose the size of the print, but you'll have to keep into account the type of camera that was used and the number of pixels of that given camera. If it's from my smaller camera, the prints will lose their detail around 8x10. The photos from my newer camera can potentially be larger if you choose one of those.

I hope this makes sense and I hope I get some response/interest. Now get your creative juices flowing and let me hear what you've got!

Come Monday (by Jimmy Buffett)

A year ago, my life was in a completely different place than it's at now. This time last year I was gallivanting around the far side of the world, at the beginning of an amazing adventure that was nothing more than a beautiful mystery to me. Now, instead of living out of my backpack, traveling from country to country, continent to continent, encountering new cultures, making new friends, and reconnecting with old friends, I'm back where I started. I'm living in the same place and, in a lot of ways, doing the same things.

However, because of the experiences I've been through and the people who have touched my life over the past year, I'm in the same place doing the same things with a new direction and a new intentionality. Come Monday, I'm heading back to school. I'll be starting a very long and challenging journey towards a Master of Arts in Global Leadership at Fuller Seminary. Needless to say, my life is about to make some drastic changes.

The degree I'm pursuing is an online degree. This means I don't have to sit through any boring or confusing lectures, but it also means I have to do a TON of reading ... not exactly my forte. I will need to restructure my life to prioritize accordingly. That means figuring out where things like work, school, relationships, photography, social life, etc. all come into play in relation to each other. Areas of my life will suffer, people will likely get let down, I will likely burn myself out from time to time (especially at the beginning), and hopefully I'll be able to endure this time and will be a better person because of it all. Time will tell, I suppose.

F-Stop Blues (by Jack Johnson)

I'm stepping out and taking some chances with a new "hobby". I put the word hobby in quotes because I'm approaching it with an attitude that it will develope into something more than just that. I received a lot of unsolicited, positive comments about some of my photographs during my travels in 2006 that I decided to try to do something about it. I've recently purchased a new camera and am attempting to recollect my former knowledge of photography. I'm playing around with some "photo shoots" with friends and trying to see if the eye that I had for composition over on the far side of the world will work here in the U.S. as well. As it turns out, after submitting a couple of my photos into a photography competition, my photo "Three Generations of Beauty" was accepted and is going to be published in a coffee table book of various photographers. As a result of that, my photo has advanced to the next stages of this particular competition. I can't honestly say that I have high expectations, but I'm really hoping this helps me gain some exposure (no pun intended) and recognition. Time will tell.

Unfortunately, with a new job and school coming up in a little over a week (class starts March 26), I haven't had the time I've needed to get my existing photographs in order. I'm working on making them available to view through this blog. Some of my photos are accessable already, but they're more of a concophany of random snapshots than a proper display of my portfolio. I'm hoping to remedy that in the weeks and months to come, as well as to continue to add to it. Until I get that cleaned up the way I want it to be, a grouping of my photos are available to view in my Myspace page (see link on left margin) for those of you who are Myspacers. In the meantime, I'm always open to suggestions, criticisms, jobs, and connections. Hobbies like this tend to be more enjoyable when there are others who appreciate the efforts and results of the labor.

In the next several weeks, I intend to get a little deeper on this topic (assuming there's some progression with it) as well as with my newest attempt at seminary, my new job, and my upcoming travels around the country and the world. So stick around and share the love!

Changes (by David Bowie)

A lot has happened in my life in the last three months since my previous blog posting. I've moved, I left my job of almost three years, I started a new job at a familiar place, I'm going to be in another play, I began dating a beautiful and adventurous woman, I've become intentional about pursuing some level of involvement with photography, I'm heading back to school, and I've decided to lead a team of 15 people to my old home back on the far side of the world this summer ... just to name a few things.

Life changes have a way of being beautiful, exciting, terrifying, and confusing all at the same time. There's a certain peace and comfort in living paycheck to paycheck, job to job, even country to country. You wouldn't think that having routine and a healthy paycheck would be a scary thing, but we have a tendency to be afraid of what we don't understand. But change is good. It keeps us on our toes. It forces us to grow. It allows us to see the same world and the same life from completely different perspectives. To endure the growing pains that come with change is simply a fact of life that we need to endure (it's totally unintentional, but we should play a game and see how many 80s television shows I mention in this blog. It's already been two in this sentence alone!).

With all the new responsibilities that come with the changes my life is currently facing, I don't see how practical it will be to improve the frequency in which I update my blog page. However, my intentions are good and I will do my best to update more frequently and simply keep the postings shorter. What I need from you is encouragement and even some occasional nagging to stick to this and keep updating my life for you to read. I just need to know that anyone is still reading this thing!