Wednesday, May 31, 2006

There's Nothing Soft About Hard Times (by Jimmy Buffett)

Well, the last couple of weeks have been interesting, to say the least. I’ve visited remote islands and villages, seen God at work, been attacked spiritually, felt inspired to write a book, battled depression, revisited the question of who I am, gotten sick, had some experiences on the high seas that I will count as some of my greater life adventures, visited an uninhabited tropical island paradise, and randomly stumbled across another boat I used to live on. Like I said, it’s been interesting.
Let’s start with the bad stuff. I don’t want to get too into this because I want to keep this somewhat manageable to read and I just simply don’t want to get too caught up in the negativity. For those who don’t know me well, I struggled with depression throughout my adolescence (like everyone else, I’m sure) and into my early adulthood. Some of those old feelings revisited me when I was blasted with feelings of inadequacies regarding my time and responsibilities here, the realization that the woman I loved and expected to spend the rest of my life with got married while I was doing my island stays, and having to face the fact that some of my character flaws were causing me to ware on the nerves of the people I was with. I have to be honest, I questioned my purpose here. Like when I was living in Guatemala, I struggle with feeling like I’m getting in the way more than helping out. I’m facing the realities that some of these things are spiritual attacks, some are realizations of changes that need to be made in my life, and some are a combination of the two. Prayer would be a wonderful gift from anyone willing to give it regarding these things!
During my attempt to escape my depression and to give the rest of the group a break from me, I finally finished one of the books I’ve been reading. Let me just say that this book did wonders for boosting my morale here. So much so that I couldn’t stop reading it and now, unfortunately, I’m done with it … I’m kinda sad about that. Being bummed about not being able to obtain my temporary escape through this book, I got the inspiration to write my own. I don’t know, this is probably just some dumb little passing phase, but the thought of writing a novel or something has always lingered in the back of my mind. I have no idea what I’m doing and, in all likelihood, this will never come to fruition, but it’s a new dream that seems to be stronger now then it’s ever been for some reason. We’ll see what happens with that.
Alright, so I had the ride of my life through the open sea. To be honest, I sincerely feared for my life. It was awesome!!! There were five of us in this little fiberglass dinghy that we took through these two meter high waves on an hour or two long ride to a remote island. Within the first minute of the ride we were all soaking wet from the waves crashing up over the bow, flooding our boat and drenching us. Our driver had to wear a dive mask so he could see where we were going. There were times when we got at least a couple feet of air, both the boat off the waves and us out of the boat. A couple of times we almost got tossed out the side of the boat when the currents shifted. As long as we hit the waves head on we were fine, but there were a couple of times when the waves hit us from the side and almost capsized us. Had that happened, who knows what would have happened to us. It was SO MUCH FUN!!!! And to top it all off, our destination was this GORGEOUS remote island. We walked around the whole island and up onto a couple of the hills that are on the middle of it. From the hills you could see a 360 degree panorama of the island, the sea, and the islands that dotted the horizon surrounding us. The rocks, palm trees, grass, sand, and water on this island were simply amazing. This island has some serious potential. How amazing would it be to own this little piece of land in the middle of the sea? Hopefully we’ll find out someday soon. Check my picture link … I’ll try to show you some pictures of the island to give you an idea of what I’m talking about.
Between the two island stays I was on over the past couple of weeks, we had a break at a small resort between the two islands. For all intents and purposes, we were in the middle of nowhere. I have the story of my experience at this resort all written up in my journal, but to save some time and energy here and to make this easier for you to read, I’ll cut to the chase. Upon our arrival there, I saw my old home … the AGAPE. Again, check out the pictures to see what I’m talking about. This is a boat that I lived on, along with the Lady O and the Lee Way (now the Picante), for nearly two and a half months back in 1999. In my mind, I KNEW I would NEVER see the Agape again. When I realized that I was actually looking at her again, my mind couldn’t get a grip on the reality of what was going on. I couldn’t put together a coherent sentence. I just kept grabbing random group members I was with and dragging them to the boat, saying “I used to live there! I used to live there!” When I was here in ’99, I took 13 rolls of film that, due to a sticky shutter I didn’t know about until I got home, never turned out. For six and a half years I’ve had no way to share my experience of a lifetime with anyone other than through my words … until now! I finally have more pictures then I know what to do with. I hope you enjoy them, because they’re worth more than gold to me!!!
Finally, what God is doing here. It’s both exciting and frustrating at the same time. I heard one person describe it this way:

God is doing some amazing work here. He’s at work in these people’s lives long before we ever come along and He’ll continue to do His work long after we leave. Some of these people have such a longing to know TRUTH. God will not deny Himself to these people who so vehemently seek Him, even if they don’t even fully realize that it’s Him they’re seeking. The greatest blessing we can experience is when God sends down an invitation to us to be used by Him to show the Truth to these people. When we allow Him to use us, it can be almost embarrassing how easy it is to show the Truth. The thing to remember is that it’s not us that’s showing It to them, but rather God who’s revealing Himself to them through us. We get no credit and no glory because we don’t deserve it, He does. But what we get is the greatest feeling man can experience: Being so fully blessed by God that it simply uncontrollably overflows.

Okay, I admit, the idea of what I just wrote came from someone else, but that’s totally my adlibbed paraphrasing there. You get the idea of what’s going on here though. The only thing that’s been so frustrating for me, though, has been that I haven’t really gotten that invitation yet … only the opportunity to see others so anxiously accept their invitations and to see how God uses those opportunities. I’ll tell you what though, it may not be as amazing as being directly used by God, but it’s still pretty cool to be indirectly connected to it and to get to hear the stories told first hand! I guess I’ll just have to stick around a little longer to see if I ever get that invitation. In the meantime, pray with me that I’ll be able to get just as excited by being used indirectly.
Finally (for now), many of you have been trying to find out how I’m being impacted by these recent earthquakes and talks of soon-to-come volcanic eruptions. To be honest, most of these events are first hitting my awareness when I get emails from people asking me if I’m still alive. I’m kind of shut out (somewhat intentionally) from the news of the rest of the world … including different parts of this part of the world. In regards to natural disasters, riots, terrorism, etc., the most life threatening experiences I’ve come across to date include such things as some small swells out in the ocean, a little rain, and the never ending threat of skin cancer via sunburn (I’ve managed to establish a halfway decent base tan though. I don’t look quite so Scandinavian any more … at least not by Minnesota standards. The locals still think I’m pretty white!). So, hopefully that puts your worried minds to rest. I appreciate the concern, but I’m in good hands over here!

Monday, May 15, 2006

Simply Complicated (by Jimmy Buffett)

I'm starting to realize that my blogs are getting pretty rediculously long. I know that if I were checking someone else's blog (with a few exceptions) and they were as long as mine are, I'd probably keep putting it off until I realized I stopped reading them. So, in the interest of those who actually check this page out, I'm going to make a conscious effort to keep these things a little shorter and sweeter. I always did have trouble knowing when I stop talking!

Monday, May 08, 2006

Bring Back The Magic (by Jimmy Buffett)

The last time I was over here I had a chance to spend a few days in Singapore on my way home. After being on the move and living on board a convoy of ships for nearly two and a half months I was pretty tired. Singapore was the first of two stop-overs on my way back home. With all my luggage and my travels home already begun, I decided to turn down the offer to stay with some friends and check out a new country and I continued on my journey home … a decision I have since regretted. The lesson I learned from that mistake: Never let a small amount of money or tiredness get in the way of experiencing a new country. Well, I finally got the chance to redeem myself. When I went to Italy as a teenager with my parents, we had the chance to visit Rome and nothing else or see more of the country and continent but miss out on Rome. My parents said something to me on that trip that they have since repeated many times: “Jeff, we know you, you’ll come back” … They know me well, don’t they?!
This trip to Singapore was to be a day trip to renew my visa. Those of you know me the best know that my plans don’t always go as they’re intended to. I went with a friend of mine, Jen, and we got there around noon. She’s been there many times before and this was my first significant amount of time there, so I asked her what we would do all day … she didn’t really have any solid answers. In fact, the night before she heard me comment about leaving as late at night as possible and she was trying to figure out what we’d do all day. Since she didn’t have any real ideas, I voted that we try to find Raffles Marina so I could try to connect up with Francis Lee, the president of Raffles Marina and the leader of the expedition I was on last time I was here.
After riding the MRT (Metro Rail Transit), grabbing some lunch, and hopping on a bus, we got to Raffles around 2pm. Francis was away, so I left him a note. Jen thought we were done there, but marinas are some of my favorite places in the world and I wanted to head down to the docks to check out all the yachts and live-aboards … reminisce of days gone by and dream of potential days to come out at sea! We went outside and down to the docks and were greeted by a sign that said no one was allowed on the docks unless they were a boat-owner or a member of the marina … neither of which we were. I told her I’d just tell them I was friends with Francis Lee if anyone were to question us and I walked down to the docks … with some hesitation, Jen followed (she’s a bit of a worrier). I pointed out to her one of the first boats I saw because it looked just like one of the boats I lived on during my expedition, but the name on it was the Picante which wasn’t the name of any of the ships on the convoy. We walked down a different dock and I was in heaven checking out all the sailing yachts! Then, as we approached the end of the dock, there she was … the Lady Olivia!!! I hadn’t seen her in over six years! The Lady Olivia, or Lady O as we called her, was actually the only ship I never slept on, but I did spend some time with her. As we got closer, we realized the engine was running and there was someone inside. This kinda freaked Jen out and she was ready to head back, but I just got that much more excited and wanted to see if it was anyone I knew. When we got close enough for me to see the face inside, I recognized him right away, although I couldn’t remember his name. He came outside and I reintroduced myself and asked him for his name again … Captain Steven! It was SO crazy for me to actually be leaning against the Lady O, talking to Steven once again. He caught me up on a handful of the expedition members and told me what they’ve been up to and what they’re doing now. I even got the contact information for a couple of my old friends.
After talking with Steven for about a half hour or so, he asked me if I remembered the Lee Way. I had totally forgotten that name until he said it. He pointed to the Picante and told me it had been sold after the expedition and had her name changed three times since. Jen and I walked over to her and the memories hit me like a tidal wave … this was the boat I had spent nearly the most amount of time living on and had some of my best memories from. This is the boat I had lived on for four days and nights without having any land in site, the boat I same off of in the middle of the open sea with a whale directly below during that same four day stint, the boat on which I had my regular shifts at the helm (of course, as the newbie I was given the graveyard shift), and the boat on which I spent nearly an entire day looking out into the open sea and just praised God for all the beauty I saw! I never thought I’d see her again. Long ago I had convinced myself that the memories of my time on the expedition here on the far side of the world would remain memories and would never revisit me again. It’s a lot like running into an old friend or seeing the house that you grew up in as a kid and fostered so many of your most precious memories. It was like coming home again.
Well, the rest of the day in Singapore was still a lot of fun, but what made it so much fun was the residual effect of the pure elation I felt from seeing Steven and my old sleeping quarters once again. We wandered around the docks a little longer and enjoyed the ships that were docked there. When I was finally able to pry myself away from the marina, we worked our way back to Orchard in the main part of the city where all the action is. We weren’t hungry for dinner yet, so we decided to go see a movie. By the time we were able to find the theater and pick a movie, it was already 7:15pm. What we didn’t factor in was what time the movie ended. When we got out and noticed the time, we realized we were going to be spending the night in Singapore. Fortunately, between the two of us, we have friends there and wouldn’t have trouble finding a place to crash.
Once we got our sleeping arrangements situated and let everyone back home know we weren’t coming back that night, we headed out to the HRC (Hard Rock CafĂ©) for a late dinner. We managed to order our food a good 10 minutes before the kitchen closed at 10:30pm. WHEW! While we were waiting for our food we got to talking with the servers (well, I got to talking with the servers. Jen was getting pretty tired). By the time we left the HRC around 11:45pm we must’ve spent nearly an hour talking with nearly every server there. They all wanted us to stick around for the live reggae band that was playing from midnight to 3am. As badly as I wanted to stay, we had some last-minute hosts who we didn’t want to disturb by coming in at 3:30am. So, we left our new friends, grabbed a cab, and made it to our home for the night around midnight where one of our hosts was kind enough to wait up for us. We were shown to our respective rooms and I was finding my way onboard the dreamland express around 1am. It made for a short night having a wakeup call at 6:45am (remember, I’m NOT a morning person!).
Barely functioning, we worked our way back home, making it back by 8:45am. All-in-all, as exhausting as it was, it was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time … and I’ve had some pretty amazing days lately! I decided not to head to the office and took the day off. Believe me, I was much more productive during my nap that afternoon then I would have been trying to do any work. Besides, I don’t foresee any rest between now and my return trip to Singapore in a month. I like to think I deserved this day!!!

By the way, there are some new pictures I added to my “Islands” photo gallery … check it out if you haven’t already. I’ll try to add some pictures of the Lady Olivia and the Picante/Lee Way soon too!

Friday, May 05, 2006

Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes (by Jimmy Buffett)

Well, I don’t know exactly what to expect in the days and weeks to come, but the next several weeks promise to be very busy. All I know for sure is that I’m going to be spending most of my time out in the islands experiencing and preparing to lead ethno-tours. I’ll be living in the homes of local villagers, eating their food, speaking their language, and generally living their life. This summer will be back to back to back short-term tourists coming out to experience ethno-tours for several weeks at a time. My goal and responsibility: to lead some of these groups. This first group I get to be just another tourist to get a first-hand understanding of what, exactly, I’ll be leading. Since I haven’t experienced this yet, I really don’t have too much more to say about it.
I can’t say whether or not I’m going to get to experience anything like this story first-hand, but I’ve already gotten to see God doing some amazing work through some of my co-workers. Apparently, a few years back there was an ethno-tour group that came out and decided that the night before they were to leave the islands and return to the city, they should do a drama to show the story of Christ. Well, this didn’t go over too well with the locals or the village leaders. As a result, out of concern for safety, the team had to leave the island in the middle of the night … this organization hasn’t returned since. The most frustrating part of the situation is that there were a few individuals who came to the Lord during that visit, yet because of this incident there was no one who could follow up with or disciple them … they were left alone, I’m sure with a lot of questions. Well, the other day two of my co-workers returned to the island to gauge the situation and, most importantly, to check on these newly saved individuals. The result of this visit: Those few people continued in their faith and were still hungry to learn more, the island leaders were no longer around and the village has been anxiously anticipating this groups return for some time now, and through prayer there was an individual who walked for the first time in over six months!!! God is doing some amazing work here … and thanks to many of my family and friends back home I’m able to be a part of His work – THANK YOU!!!!
In the next week I’ll be focusing on continuing my learning of the language here, becoming more comfortable with the locals and interacting with them, meeting and networking with more and more locals to establish new relationships, and preparing myself for these groups coming out and my time away for weeks at a time. Lord only knows when I’m going to get any rest again (I’m getting a peek into the life of my dad)!
I’ve been getting questions from some of you about what life is like here, what are some crazy foods I’ve been eating, who are some unique individuals I’ve met, and how I’m adjusting to life in another country. Well, I don’t really know how to explain it, but I really don’t feel like I have too much to tell. It’s not that I’m trying to hide anything from anyone, it’s just that it all feels so normal and comfortable. The food has been fantastic (so much for losing weight while I’m here … at this rate I’m going to be GAINING weight instead!), the people are great, and nothing really seems too unique or novel. There’s a certain peace about being here … I think it’s just that my time away was way overdue! Life here is just life, the way I like it. Maybe it’s just that I’ve done enough traveling in my life that countries like this are just all too familiar to me now. Most of the things that catch newcomers off-guard and lead them into culture shock are tried and true for me and I know what to expect and how to deal with them. The things that probably should be scary or exciting are just kinda routine. But don’t let me make it sound like it’s boring or unexciting. It’s a different kind of excitement. It’s like visiting an old home. It’s a type of “different” that’s familiar and comfortable. I guess the best way to describe it is that, for the first time in a long time, I have peace and joy in my heart. It feels good!!!!
For those of you who have been committed to reading my blog and especially to those of you who have sent me comments, I want to let you know how much I appreciate it. It’s nice to know that all my typing isn’t a waste of time. I’m sorry that I haven’t had any good way to respond to any of your comments and let you know that I’m actually reading them and appreciating them, but please know that each one has been an encouragement, given me perspective, made me think, made me laugh, or made me feel a little more connected to things back in the states … so thank you, very much!!!
Stay tuned … there’s more to come (and I’m still working on more pictures … it’s just hard with dialup).

Monday, May 01, 2006

I Have Found Me A Home (by Jimmy Buffett)

Wow, I’ve been busy the past couple of days … and the busy season hasn’t even begun yet! Let me give you a little synopsis of what my time here has been like and then I’ll give you some bullet-point highlights of what this last weekend held for me.
To begin with, I’m living in a fairly decent sized city … pretty modern, especially by the standards over here. I’m living with my host family, part of whom I’ve known for pretty much my whole life. There’s a team of a few families and I’m getting to know them all really pretty well … what an awesome team! Most of them have known each other for all of their adult lives and get along so well with their team dynamics. They’re fun people to hang out with when we’re not working too. Anyways, I digress … as a team, they own a sort of tourist business where they have property on a beach (you’ve seen pictures if you’ve checked out my link) which is an hour and a half boat ride from where we’re living. In the week and a half that I’ve been here, I’ve been out to the resort three times already. Part of my job while at the resort is simply to hang out with the guests when they want company and give them space when they don’t want company. Other then that, just make sure they’re happy and have everything they need as well as taking care of some general work projects around the resort. When I’m not at the resort or out on the water, I’m in the office in town working on a couple little projects the team has handed over to me to help get me transitioned into my work here as well as catch the business up on some overdue organization, so-to-speak.
Anyways, I hope that gives you a general yet somewhat clear idea of what life here as been like so far. Now, let me catch you up with what I’ve experienced over the past several days. To save you from my tendency to give way more detail than is necessary, I’m just going to give you some highlights. If you want to know more details, just drop me an email and let me know what you want to know more about … it may take me a while to get back to you, but I will eventually!
The guys have an accountability group that I’ve gotten to be a part of. It’s awesome to see how they confide in each other and support one another.
There was a full-team worship time where we spent several hours in intentional prayer and singing. Granted, it did go a bit later than our bodies would have preferred, but it was such an incredible time together with each other and with God.
I spent the weekend with a Young Life group from Singapore. What a great group of people! One of the girls actually was a Wooddaler briefly! I was momentarily surprised to find this out, but that quickly passed because I’ve come to realize that there’s nowhere on this planet that you can go to escape the potential of running into a Wooddaler. Anyone know an 18-year-old named Whitney Taylor? If so, let me know and I’ll tell her you say HI.
I did a couple of dives finally! First logged dives since 1999 … talk about being WAY overdue! The guys I’m working with are in the process of getting certified. There were only three of us that went out, one of which is still in the certification process and hasn’t done many dives at all. At nearly 3 meters, it was the best visibility he’d ever had and my worst! There was some cool stuff to see though.
Of the dives we did, we attempted a night dive in which the visibility was less than half a meter … we tried going down twice and each time we lost each other as soon as we went below the surface. I gave up and let the other two have their dive. After the current pulled us away from the island we were diving off of and we had to hang on to the side of the boat and have it drag us for about 10 minutes, I was too tired to deal with not being able to even see my dive buddy, let alone any coral or fish. But they had a great time and I got to do another dive a day and a half later.
I’ve got the WORST farmer’s tan! I’m slowly working on getting my body just a little burned at a time so it’ll slowly turn into a decent tan. I’m almost up to my shoulders on my arms now, but not quite. My neck is the best … SUPER dark tan on my neck and a typical pasty-white Scandinavian back.

Okay, that gives a pretty good update and hopefully a decent mental picture for you to have an idea of what my life is like here so far. Now, I’ve got a few simple prayer requests I figure I’d throw your way. Please pray:
-That I’ll be able to get a solid base-tan so that my skin won’t be so sensitive to the sun that I’m in nearly all day, every day … and that I won’t get skin cancer in the process!
-That whatever I have that resembles poison ivy is NOT poison ivy and goes away quickly!
-That I will continue to acclimate quickly to my responsibilities and to the expectations that are upon me here.
-That I won’t struggle too much with learning the language.
-That I’ll be able to find the means to continue my travels at the end of my time here by doing some networking for this business.
-That I don’t lose my focus on God during the busyness of trying to adjust to my new job.

There, that should be good enough for now. There’ll be plenty more to come for sure! Oh, one more thing … if there’s anything specific you’d like me to talk about in my blogs, add a comment or send me an email and let me know what you want to hear about. I’ll do my best to oblige!